Tonight I’ve been searching a few forums. A moment ago I read this amusing (but also awful) post from Web Child blogger Jayne Kearney.
She writes:
“Day One of our renovations and I have a question: what kind of fresh hell is this?
I am simply not a renovator and never thought I would be. All I really require in the way of creature comforts is a roof over my head and a good book. When Luke and I were first married that was about all we had and I thought I was the queen of the world.
We had bought a little house and couldn’t believe, after years of share houses and living with parents, how much space we had. “Look at all these rooms!” we said as we rattled around our early-1900s cottage. “We have a dining room and a kitchen. And look at this huge spare bedroom for the baby.” We sat on beanbags and watched our 34cm TV and thought this was how it would always be.
Two kids later and we have so much junk it would make your head spin. The kids are exploding out of their shared room. My foyer-cum-office cannot contain my burgeoning writing career and Luke is sick of watching TV from our bedroom.
As luck would have it, our next-door neighbours live in a house built on an identical plan to ours. As good fortune would also have it, our neighbour is an architect and an impossibly nice guy - who better to design our extension?
The designing was the fun part. Our architect came up with some fancy computer-generated images of what our house would look like after the renovations. We would be the proud owners of an extra bedroom, a shiny new bathroom, kitchen and laundry and, the holy grail of all Aussie families, an open living area. The plans shaped up beautifully. We were home and hosed. It would be so much fun.
And yes, I am officially an idiot.
I may have imagined that I would be whisked away for a five-star vacation until Jamie Durie escorted me back to my sparkling new abode. The only problem is there’s no-one doing any such whisking.”
I’ll leave you to read the rest on her blog.
{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }
Jayne Kearney 11.23.08 at 4:31 am
Thanks for featuring my blog here Amanda.
Oh yes, the tales I have to tell…
I almost can’t bring myself to write about what has transpired in case it results in some sort of psychological disconnect
Update: Four months on, the reno is still not done and we are reaching a stage where I know it is going to get a whole lot worse before it gets better. About the only thing still intact is our marriage and I personally don’t know the reason for this extreme miracle…
Myself and, I’m sure, many, many others are waiting with sawdust-laced breath for your book! I love tales from renovation survivors - it gives me something to hope for.
Andrew 11.24.08 at 5:14 pm
Man, *that’s* the most horrific tale you can tell? Sounds pretty par for the course to me. [Note from Amanda: of course there are worse stories but there are many just like this. The point is they don't necessarily have to be that way.]
And isn’t the quote “What fresh hell is this?” Though I guess, reading that, you’re no Dorothy Parker. [Amanda: Quotes have been taken exactly from Jayne's blog and I imagine, although don't know, that she was taking a bit of license with this one...Dorothy's alleged exclamation when her train of thought was interrupted by a telephone.... but Parkerisms are undoubtedly the subject of another blog!!]
Jayne Kearney 12.08.08 at 4:18 pm
Hey Andrew,
Don’t forget that this was written after DAY ONE!! And yes, it got (and is still getting) a lot worse. I do apologise for misquoting Ms Parker - I was a little preoccupied that week. I noted my error later but was unable to correct it.
PAMELA 05.04.10 at 12:58 am
Hi Andrew,
I began to read the blog which caught my attention from the Google page. I began to read and found myself laughing and smiling at the blog.
Then I came to your comment. What a downer. Do you really think that your “2 cents” really matters. This was a lovely story about a seemingly accomplished writer and her experience. I don’t think it was your place to notice the “imperfections” in the blog.
Jayne - I thouht it was great.. and gave me a little insight to what I am about to embark on. Thanks for the Cheer. I will try to remember that when I am in my own Fresh Hell.. LOL
Regards,
Pamela